Last night the evening had a beauty that the world has never known...I did not want it to end. My body grew weary and needed rest.

I awaken to the land of absurdity, which is the familiar existence of this society.

Did I merely dreamed the wonders of that perfect joy?

Early this morning I had wonderful funny conversation with Little Sunshine. Nothing in particular or profound but creatively joyous...that's the way to start the day...

I'm in quite a reflective mood. This simple melody that I am listening to has open my thoughts to think of those who really have loved and love me,still. Amazingly so, even when I didn't love myself or was able to receive and recognize their love for me. Their love is with me yesterday,today, and will be with me tomorrow. This song, this simple melody...

Alone at last, with all the worries of the world; it started in July 08 when I began to fall apart..and I have never recovered. In a world that is only concern with tangible success. I have lost everything. I walk around taking up space, but inside I am empty. I see my demise and I can feel it slowly creeping into my body. Fighting is causing such pain and discomfort. I want to relax and sleep a gentle dream...but here I am. Deep in a place which suffocates the life out of me. Its only purpose was to kill the little spark that my body still possessed. Like a trained assassin it has hunted that beauty down relentlessly with no ebb in its movements towards me...while I on the other hand have tired from its pursuit.


I am a warrior that is wounded and the wound has not been allowed to heal.

I am that warrior that has been unable to put her weapon down to heal.

I am this warrior that sees, feels, tastes her demise and still fights on...
dying in this final endeavor.

Its so beautiful today..one of those soggy grayish blue skies with the smell of wetness...makes your senses think of sweet moments...